So, Jordan’s left I’m A Celebrity and many would say good riddance. But I for one will miss her.
I know, I know. Katie Price knew what she was getting herself into when she signed up for I’m a Celebrity. She was hardly the nation’s sweetheart when she went into the jungle, famed for pushing the boundaries of human suffering. But I think the British public should give her a break.
Yes, her split with Peter Andre may not have shown her in the best light. But unlike Peter, who seems to have been told to stare wistfully into the distance and talk about his kids every few seconds, Katie did what any self-respecting celeb would do. She went to Ibiza, got trashed and nabbed herself a cross-dressing, cage-fighting boyfriend. Ask yourself this question: if all celebrities were like this, would the world not be a far better place?
And like all true celebs, she has an alter ego. Beyonce has Sasha. Jennifer Lopez has J-Lo. Katie has Jordan. By day she is Katie, the average, stay-at-home type, but at night she becomes Jordan, the surgery addict who likes to play with the notions of human decency and taste. She is almost like a modern day superhero. And to top it all off, she is willing to eat a kangeroo anus to win favour with the British public. If that isn’t true star quality, I don’t know what is.
No, I’d keep an eye on Stuart instead. His dazzlingly white teeth and chiselled jaw may have blinded a few people, but I just don’t trust him. Look at how long he was prepared to stand holding water in a tube to escape nominations. And after all that, he moaned about his immunity and claimed he was “taking one for the team”. Unless he has an unusual fetish for saving water, something doesn’t quite add up, methinks…